Jalpuna

The Loveseat

In the far side of my living room sits my couch. I rescued it from Goodwill two years ago, and I thought that would form a meaningful bond between us - but apparently my couch has its doubts. We had a 'conversation' last night that went a little something like this:

Couch: "Where's the woman?"

Me: "Huh? ...what woman?"

Couch: "The woman you were on a date with tonight."

Me: "I wasn't on a date tonight... I went to the movies with a friend. Remember when we watched a review of the new Harry Potter movie together? Well I went to see it."

Couch: "Do you know what I am man? I'm a LOVESEAT. If you don't find a woman, my whole existence is pointless don't you think?"

Me: "What?!?"

Couch: "Oh come on! Get with the program! What's a loveseat without love!?!"

Me: "Are you afraid I'm getting rid of you - because I'm not."

Couch: "I'm afraid I'm going to linger here in shame. A loveless loveseat am I!"

OK, it was really being more of a drama-couch than a loveseat, but I've got to admit it had a point...

The bottom line is that something has to change around here. I was reading the last David Sedaris book this morning. I set the book down on my couch & got up for a cup of coffee... and when I came back the book was gone.

GONE.

Now I'm not pointing any fingers [couch couch couch] but I suspect it was eaten in protest. My couch is trying to tell me that it needs more love than a single guy can give. Well, it's also pissed that I keep calling it "The Couch That Ate Portland" even though it's really a LOVESEAT. ...but that's another story.

::::: | Sunday, Jun 06 2004 at 10:18 PM
::::: |

words

photos

Jalpuna

The Loveseat

Comments: