politics (excerpts)
I am not a liberal. I am simply a man with a conscience who believes in the golden rule and votes accordingly. If that makes one think of me as a liberal, so be it.
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two Iraqi shoes
and W's cranium
(December 16, 2008)
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Keep you eye on... actually, don't. You probably don't want to watch this, so I'll just tell you what happens instead. While Sarah gives a folksy interview to a local reporter about how happy she is, turkeys are being beheaded in the background.
(November 20, 2008)
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!
!
(November 4, 2008)
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I hope for change. I voted for change. I've done my part. Have you?
(November 4, 2008)
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Paraphrasing David Letterman: Set the clock back? That's a great idea - because if there's one thing we really need it's another hour of 2008. George Bush has already set the clock back to 1929.
(November 2, 2008)
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...but not from MY friends.
(November 1, 2008)
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I found this on ffffound!. Yep....
(October 31, 2008)
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What would the oval office look like if Palin became president? It might look like this:
(October 28, 2008)
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Hope begins in 12 days. Hope begins with you - and with me. I did my part, now you do yours.
(October 23, 2008)
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Four years ago, as the Bush/Kerry election loomed, I asked How Would A Terrorist Vote? For the 2008 election, we don't even have to ask.
(October 22, 2008)
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Are we about to hear the McCain campaign start bashing the elementary elite? Will they blame gotcha grade-schoolers?
(October 21, 2008)
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It's starting to get sad. The McCain campaign has bounced from gimmick to gimmick, and though most of them have been pretty bad - some even borderline racist - this latest one cries of desperation. I'm starting to feel bad for the guy.
(October 17, 2008)
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I found myself watching the candidate who was silent as often as I watched the candidate who was speaking. As they say, actions often speak louder than words... but then again, words count too. And, speaking of which...
(October 16, 2008)
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Merkley Verses Smith. Obama Verses McCain. Yes We Can!
(October 14, 2008)
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Meet Saluel Maverick, Maury Maverick and Fontaine Maverick. As it turnes out, real Mavericks support Barack Obama.
(October 9, 2008)
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Another presidential debate has passed... followed by another round of post-debate analysis in the media. Who won? Who lost? Who evacuated the premisis within seconds of the end of the final question?
(October 8, 2008)
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I wonder... will we still have internets, plural, when dubya exits the White House, or will we be left with just one? Also: will we still have an economy?
(October 7, 2008)
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The deadline to register to vote is almost here. In Oregon, you've still got a few days. In Washington state, the deadline is today. But, hey, maybe it's not worth your time.
(October 4, 2008)
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Just because Gordon Smith is good enough for Dick Cheney doesn't mean he's good enough for Portland.
(October 3, 2008)
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To answer your question, John McCain, no - Gotcha isn't a pizza place. It's your running mate getting burned by your own tactics. She's going down in flames, which is ironic being that you're from Phoenix. And, no, I don't wish your campaign any luck rising from those ashes.
(September 30, 2008)
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"Do you still think the fundamentals of our economy are strong, Genius?"
(September 25, 2008)
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I just want to make sure I've finished eating by six so that when the president gives his speech on TV I'll have something to throw up.
(September 24, 2008)
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There's so much bad stuff going around during this election cycle. The worst thing we could possibly do is be uninformed about it. With that in mind, I'm posting the following quote from the chairman of the Republican Party in Macomb County, Michigan:
(September 23, 2008)
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...where's Dan Quayle with his Potatoe when we need him?
(September 18, 2008)
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There's a new product from the makers of HeadOn. It's specifically for Wall Street investors, and it's called SellOff. Here's the script for their latest ad:
(September 17, 2008)
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Abstaining from sex prevents pregnancies the same way abstaining from driving prevents car accidents. It works until you take the hot rod out for a drive. Then what? Buckle up. This election is going to be a bumpy ride.
(September 3, 2008)
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A secretarial assistant in Columbus Ohio who can't afford her medical insurance knows the nutritional value the banana onto which two scoops of
French Freedom Vanilla ice cream were placed.
(August 29, 2008)
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Multiple news organizations including CNN are reporting that Joe Biden will be Barrack Obama's running mate!
(August 22, 2008)
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I found it curious that Clinton's campaign is well over twenty million dollars in debt, yet she had money to run TV ads here in Oregon. Hey, I'm just pointing out the obvious.
(May 21, 2008)
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Who the hell is Steve Novick and where did he come from? Or, possibly more importantly, why did it take him so long to get here?
(May 20, 2008)
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This is hilarious - and yet sad too. It's obviously a spoof of the Will.i.am "Yes We Can" video.
(February 14, 2008)
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I have no voice in this election. By the time my state has a primary, there will be no one to vote for. And so, I look to the states holding caucuses and primaries this Tuesday and I hope for the best. I hope for change.
(February 2, 2008)
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November can't come soon enough.
(January 15, 2008)
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Over the past few weeks, Awe Shuckabee has shown himself to be clueless with gaffs about national intelligence, Iran, Pakistan and more. Just last night, he claimed to support the writers on strike, but he crossed the picket line to appear on the Tonight Show. The very next day...
(January 3, 2008)
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Don't want our farms turned into strip malls and subdivisions? Vote YES on Measure 49! Tax cigarettes to fund children's healthcare here in Oregon? Vote YES on Measure 50.
(October 16, 2007)
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Gore just won the peace prize. Bush is still losing the war.
(October 12, 2007)
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"...how sick were you?" I was so sick yesterday that I actually watched the Republican presidential debate.
(October 10, 2007)
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Is it just me, or does Rudy Giuliani suddenly look a whole lot like Gargamel? He speaks a cartoon language with an amazing word that means anything and everything. You say "Gun control?" He says "Smurf."
(September 27, 2007)
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Forty one percent of Americans are dumb as bricks. And probably less useful.
(September 11, 2007)
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The sun has started to rise a little bit later. The sun is setting a little bit earlier. Days are warm, sometime hot even, yet there is a hint of crispness to the air at night. Football is back on the TV and Halloween decorations are just starting to show up in the stores. And another militantly homophobic Republican has been busted in a gay sex scandal.
(August 28, 2007)
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"It's a quagmire if you go that far and try to take over Iraq."
(August 16, 2007)
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''If there is a leak out of my administration, I want to know who it is. And if that person has violated the law, the person will be taken care of"
(July 2, 2007)
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67% of all Republicans don't believe in evolution.
(June 19, 2007)
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"In the Battle of Afghanistan, we destroyed the Taliban [BZZZT! They're back], many terrorists [not Osama], and the camps where they trained [they're rebuilding them because we left for Iraq]."
(May 1, 2007)
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The good news about having election day behind us is that we finally get to catch up on our erectile dysfunction ads now that the political ads are gone.
(November 8, 2006)
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I just can't believe that a week before the election, people can be fooled into a debate over a botched joke at a campaign stop instead of debating a botched war that's spiraling out of control.
(November 1, 2006)
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"Huh? Oh. I see what's coming here. You'd like a moment of my time to tell me about how Ron Saxton would make a super-duper kickass governor even though I think he's a heebie-jeebie lying sack of decomposing elephant dung. Am I right?"
(October 25, 2006)
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George W. Bush, Sunday, October 22nd, 2006: "We Have Never Been Stay The Course" ...George W. Bush - the rest of the time: "We will stay the coarse." Who are the millions of americans who voted for this clown?
(October 24, 2006)
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Here's one of the Mark Foley transcripts, where he asks an underage teen to "gram the one eyed snake."
Maf54: "grab"
Jalpuna: "Right."
(October 5, 2006)
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Let's see what's on CNN. Let's see what's on The History Channel. What? It's the same damn show!
(July 15, 2006)
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Don't.
(May 25, 2006)
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If I am my government's enemy, who exactly does my government represent?
(May 11, 2006)
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"It's the largest database ever assembled in the world"
(May 11, 2006)
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Google the word asshole and click "I'm Feeling Lucky."
(April 13, 2006)
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And who knows... maybe he'll have noticed that her favorite chocolate shop just happens to be next door to the dry cleaners. God does she have a sweet tooth. After five years of marriage he should know this.
(April 10, 2006)
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The President's first choice for a new Chief Of Staff wasn't available. In an attempt to extend his record of making the worst possible decisions, Bush nominated Hurricane Katrina. You can imagine his shock in learning that the Hurricane Katrina he'd heard everyone talk so much about was not a person's nickname but in fact a catastrophic weather event.
(March 28, 2006)
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"...so I says to the Vice President, I says, hey, from a distance, your lawyer friend looks kinda like the last
republican Vice President."
(February 16, 2006)
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Curious how self-proclaimed compassionate Christian men determine the value of a life based on its location on a map.
(January 5, 2006)
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A bit of fun video, courtesy of the BBC. After a Beijing reporter accuses our fearless leader of being a little off his game, he barks off a comment about jet lag, and then attempts a Snagglepuss style hasty exit, stage left.
(November 21, 2005)
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I've never been more embarrassed or ashamed of my country.
(November 16, 2005)
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"Dad wanted a thousand points of light..."
(November 7, 2005)
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He didn't even know what a pandemic was until one of his advisors told him. I wonder if they also told him there's no oil in a pandemic. Surely he does know the pandemic isn't one of his cronies. Thus, he's against it.
(November 1, 2005)
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One number I didn't see was the number of Iraqi civilians killed by the U.S. militar... er... 'Coalition Forces.' Surely that would push the total number far higher. I've seen the total number of Iraqi civilians killed since we invaded estimated at over 30,000.
(October 30, 2005)
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"Bush allies getting Katrina work." How did I NOT see this one coming?
(September 12, 2005)
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Just passing along a link or two here...
(September 9, 2005)
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"What I'm hearing which is sort of scary is that they all want to stay in Texas. Everybody is so overhwlemed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway so this (chuckle)--this is working very well for them."
(September 6, 2005)
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"I know that the human being and the fish can coexist."
(September 6, 2005)
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In time, we will come to find that thousands of people lost their lives because help didn't arrive in time. The question is: will the majority of the American people fall for it... again?
(September 2, 2005)
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The story of New Orleans just keeps getting worse, and it all points to lack of security.
(September 1, 2005)
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Instead of embedding reporters with American armed forces, maybe it's time to embed armed forces with American reporters. After all, our reporters were on the scene whereas our armed forces were not. Get Geraldo. Give him a regiment and a raft, and he'll lay down the law.
(September 1, 2005)
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While people question the link between theft and skin color, I'm waiting for people to also question the link between the lack of security on American soil and the plethora of American troops in the middle east.
(August 31, 2005)
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Eternity's a long time. Bring a flame retardant jacket. And marshmallows. Lots and lots of marshmallows.
(August 25, 2005)
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Gas prices may go back down below $2 a gallon, but they won't stay there long. There's too much new competition for a very limited resource. Competition that's never going to go away. NEVER.
(April 29, 2005)
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But first, he wanted to make sure he was living in a felony-friendly state.
(March 16, 2005)
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Now, I know it's not right to be so pleased with someone else's failure - but let's be honest here...
(February 16, 2005)
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I can't help wondering if we have any business celebrating the life of a man who's wisdom we refuse to heed.
(January 17, 2005)
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Mixed messages - the days news in print while music fills the room. The contrasts are... well, they are what they are.
(November 24, 2004)
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A few selections from post-election site Sorry Everybody dot com. The pictures speak for themselves...
(November 12, 2004)
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Two maps that crack me up!
(November 5, 2004)
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The first kid walked up, made a nasty comment, and then found himself face down on the pavement after a swift one-two punch. The others walked away, and that was the end of the geek getting beaten up.
(November 4, 2004)
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I hate that history will not look kindly on this era, but I hope that future generations can learn through our mistakes. This era is a mistake, and the rest of the world knows it. Why don't we?
(November 4, 2004)
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I am speechless.
(November 3, 2004)
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Click a pic for the Eminem video. Trust me - it's worth your time.
(November 2, 2004)
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The decision you make today may be the hatred we all face tomorrow.
(November 2, 2004)
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Constitutional Amendment 428-36-09.5 would change our state Constitution to prevent political any candidate running for public office from utilizing campaign dirty tricks under penalty of a mandatory lobotomy.
(November 1, 2004)
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Bin Laden, in his own words: "It never occurred to us that the commander in chief of the country would leave 50,000 citizens in the two towers to face those horrors alone ... because he thought listening to a child discussing her goats was more important"
(October 29, 2004)
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A little fun for a gloomy Friday.
(October 29, 2004)
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My picks, my ballot...
(October 27, 2004)
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A secret document obtained from inside Bush campaign headquarters in Florida suggests a plan - possibly in violation of US law - to disrupt voting in the state's African-American voting districts, a BBC Newsnight investigation reveals.
(October 27, 2004)
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How it is that we're less than a week away from the presidential election and Bush & Kerry still tied... well... it's simply beyond me. Then again, I often forget how incredibly absolutely one hundred percent mother fucking ignorant the general population tends to be.
(October 27, 2004)
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First, it was Iran endorsing Bush. And now - Satan? Who knew?!
(October 21, 2004)
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I'm so anti you-know-which political entity. that I composed this entire post without using the language equivalent to a digit found between Q and S, because I feel that _epublicans are THAT evil, and I'm THAT upset about it.
(October 16, 2004)
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Please George... PLEASE! It's not as if you haven't done enough damage to this country already. Do you REALLY have to humiliate us? Is it really the best way to gain international support for your failed war in Iraq to show yourself - proudly I might add - to be a dumbass?
(October 15, 2004)
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Six months after he said Osama bin Laden must be caught dead or alive, this president was asked, "Where is Osama bin Laden?" He said, "I don't know. I don't really think about him very much. I'm not that concerned." I wonder if he's concerned now?
(October 13, 2004)
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This was published in The Denver Post. It is simply phenomenal...
(October 11, 2004)
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While Bush talked about "the internets" during the debate, Kerry had facts galore. But was anybody paying attention? Do people really prefer style over substance? I've posted links to audio files and transcripts...
(October 9, 2004)
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"If we'd used smart diplomacy, we could have saved $200 billion and an invasion of Iraq, and right now Osama bin Laden might be in jail or dead. That's the war on terror."
(October 8, 2004)
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It'll all be over in a few weeks. Then we'll learn if Americans can be fooled twice... because, as we all know, there's an old saying about fools in Texas...
(October 3, 2004)
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In case you missed it... John Kerry was on The Late Show with David Letterman last night, and he brought a top ten list with him. Here's Kerry's list of The Top Ten Bush Tax Proposals...
(September 20, 2004)
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Dick says: "If we make the wrong choice, then the danger is that we'll get hit again." He's right. But, is there more terrorism today than before the war in Iraq? Well golly gee. I guess we're in Kansas after all.
(September 7, 2004)
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God damn, I can't wait till November. The term "Build your own Bush" should come with an NC-17 rating. Instead, it comes with a deficit and close to 1,000 dead soldiers. Damn damn damn.
(September 2, 2004)
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Looking at current polls, I'm led to wonder who votes in this damn country! I have no freaking clue who actually DOES vote, but it's obvious who DOESN'T. If you're not sure who I mean, read on.
(September 1, 2004)
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Cosby was aware his words could fuel racism among whites. "Let them talk" he said. Well, we have plenty to talk about - but we should face a mirror before we begin, because it appears to me that we're intentionally holding ourselves back.
(August 14, 2004)
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Here, for example, we see that George W. Bush values the way his right hook can connect with someone's face when his left arm locks that person's head in place...
(August 11, 2004)
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"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful. And so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people. And neither do we." - George W. Bush
(August 6, 2004)
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While the Bush administration spreads anger towards America in the rest of the world, al Qaeda spreads fear of themselves in America. The difference is that al Qaeda has no "America Alert System." They don't need one.
(August 1, 2004)
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"The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders ... All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism." - Nazi war criminal Hermann Goering (at the Nuremberg Trials)
(July 28, 2004)
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Can you imagine how many people had already sprung into action by 9:05am on the morning of September 11th, 2001? Here's video footage of a certain someone who was doing nothing at all.
(July 25, 2004)
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Read this, and you'll learn why it's best to get your cocaine in powder form, why fake IDs work best when you're not famous, and why you might be a video tape away from ten million dollars.
(July 21, 2004)
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A true patriot loves his or her country and wants what's best for it, regardless of political party affiliation. Agreeing with Bush because you're a republican doesn't make you a patriot. It makes you a sheep...
(July 15, 2004)
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Was there ever any doubt regarding the quality of pre-war 'intelligence'? I mean, really...
(July 13, 2004)
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Just in time for the wave of Hispanic gangs taking over Portland's east side, the National Assault Weapons Ban is set to expire. There's nothing better than a grenade launcher with a bayonet mount for the common thug, right? Read on...
(July 12, 2004)
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I could go off on a tirade about people celebrating Independence Day by helping our country to be more DEPENDENT on foreign oil - but I think cartoonist Bob Lang said it best...
(July 4, 2004)
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"It's September 12th 2001. Members of the Bin Laden family are here in the U.S, and your government doesn't want to ask them any questions. They're letting them flee the country. You cool with that?"
(July 2, 2004)
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The interviewer is clearly more intelligent than the interviewee. Tactics of the interviewee are downright juvenile. Questions are never answered - it's a game of conversational dodgeball, with dubya determined that nobody make him bleed his own blood...
(June 29, 2004)
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George W. Bush, speaking at a black-tie function: "This is an impressive crowd. The Haves, & the have mores. Some people call you the elite. I call you my base."
(June 24, 2004)
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In a stunning revelation, the panel investigating the September 11th attacks confirmed that no one from The North Pole was involved whatsoever. The whole thing about Iraq and 9/11 was crap too...
(June 16, 2004)
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Initially, I couldn't comprehend how this marriage didn't last an eternity. However, once I'd thought about it for a few tenths of a second, I came up with several possibilities...
(June 13, 2004)
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QUESTION: Did you authorize the use of torture on any prisoners held by the United States? ANSWER: I like eggs. They're both nutritious, and delicious - plus, you can use them to make all sorts of tasty treats such as lemon meringue pies.
(June 12, 2004)
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How many people voted for Mickey Mouse in the last election? Don't laugh. It happens every election. If the contest were Bush verses Mickey Mouse, you bet your ass I'd be walking out of the voting booth sporting a big ol' set of ears.
(May 27, 2004)
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This summer's raise of the terror alert status is brought to you by: The New Hummer, with eight miles to the gallon of middle eastern gas fuel efficiency. Party on Garth. Al Qaeda loves you.
(May 26, 2004)
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Why is spam always written by someone with a minimal grasp of logic and grammar? Is it the same reason aliens always bring people from rural Louisiana aboard their space-ships for a tour & belly-botton-rectal-exam?
(May 19, 2004)
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"At least one technique removed from list of interrogation methods used by U.S. military in Iraq, sources tell CNN" Gee, would that be the stripping, the use of dog collars and leashes, or putting prisoners in sexual poses?
(May 14, 2004)
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Radicalism comes in many forms. The idea of "my country right or wrong" is both radical and dangerous. I dare say it is more traitorous than patriotic because it does the country more harm than good. Bad ideas are like a cancer, and a body that gives in to cancer dies.
(May 11, 2004)
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If only Osama had faxed an X-marks-the-spot map to the Crawford ranch showing the Pentagon, the Capitol, the twin towers and the word 'BOOM!' scrawled in Arabic. That might have sparked sluggish imaginations. Or maybe not.
(April 19, 2004)
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It's kind of sad when people would rather stand in the rain waiting for a $3 movie than come indoors to meet a presidential candidate... That's when it dawned on me that if "Forward motion in-line" was on the ballot, Dennis Kucinich would probably lose to that too.
(April 18, 2004)
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Today's reason to whip your coffee mug across the room & watch it shatter against a far wall, leaving a marvelous brown blotch...
(April 14, 2004)
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I wish I could say that I wrote this - but alas, it's a piece of spam that was forwarded my way this morning. Somebody took a report about homosexuality being genetically linked, and then changed lots of the nouns. You'll figure it out...
(April 13, 2004)
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